Christmas

Well, here is my picture-less Christmas update for now. We're having major problems with our iPhoto, iMovie, and iDvd, so I'm not going to be uploading anything until I solve the problem. Most frustrating thing ever.

We had a delightful Christmas! It was so nice to get out of Provo again and have Claire's attention divided between more people. We went to my family's for Christmas this year, but couldn't leave until after my stitches came out on Christmas Eve morning. Everything with the finger looks good, but it will be numb-ish for another few months they said. It's healing up nicely. After that was all over, we finished loading our Christmas loot in the car and headed up. Christmas Eve was pretty uneventful other than making food and baking sweets that can now be seen on my hips.

Our family tradition is to watch a movie together on Christmas Eve and my pops got 17 Miracles for the event so that our movie watching would be more Christ-centered. I had heard nothing but really good things about this movie and although Brian and I thought it was more well done than most of the other LDS films, I thought it was incredibly depressing and cheesy at parts. I think my family liked it a lot more than I did. Claire didn't quite make it to open a Christmas Eve present, but the rest of us had fun.

Christmas morning was a blast. Claire had so many toys and she had to open the package of every single one, so it took quite a while to get through all of them. Every baby had to be unwrapped, then taken out of the package and placed in the cradle we gave her. Just like I thought, the first thing she went to was her new Lightning McQueen pedal and push. She loves riding everyone else's, so we got her one and it's still her favorite. We eventually had to hide it again so she'd get on with her gift opening.

Brian loves his new grill and I have to admit that I am loving it too. Can I really pass up the opportunity of NOT cooking and eating his delicious meals? No. I cannot. I love not cooking. It's SO much better than the piece 'o junk we grilled on before. We've made quite the meals the last few days. We got some camping stuff, he got video game things, clothes, and then he spent literally the entire weekend flying his remote control helicopter that all the boys got. They have all gotten pretty good at flying them, so hopefully the body stays in one piece from now on. :)

Brian has been telling everyone for the last while that my big hobby is reading. Although I love to read, I didn't think it was my biggest hobby since I don't really have a lot of time to read. Now I know why he said that. He got me a kindle touch. Would have never guessed that one! I haven't had a ton of time to read on it yet, but it is small and I can take it anywhere! I love it! My parents also got me a new bike and a bike trailer for our little ones! After riding my old bike and then the new one....man....I'm surprised I didn't die on the old one. What a piece! My mom and I went on a bike ride and it was just so easy to ride and nice to get out. I'm excited to use the bike trailer when Claire is feeling a little better. I'm also excited to not have my belly in the way when I'm riding. It's funny to exhale every time my knees come up. I got some gorgeous new makeup from my in-laws and my brother and have had so much fun using it.

The rest of the time we hung out and played games, which was the most fun. Trevor got us Puerto Rico (A BLAST) which I still haven't won and I've played it more than everyone else except Brian. Trevor kept almost winning and Jason got more and more tired with each turn, so we'd all just laugh at him. He gets a little tipsy when he's tired.

Now we're getting ready for the new year. Claire started running a fever today, so we're hoping she starts to feel better soon before we go back up to my mom and dad's. I'm officially sick of eating pie and ready to start on a fruit eating kick for a while. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas too. Sorry this is more like a journal entry and not that much fun to read/look at. I'll post pictures when the iLife problem is resolved. Hopefully soon!!!

2 Days Away

I am SOO excited for Christmas! Finally. It's coming and it's almost here. I am now allowing myself to get excited. I mopped my floors and cleaned my house tonight after Claire went to bed, so it even is smelling like clean.....Christmas clean. :) There are gifts that didn't get done this year (iMovie and iDvd need to DIE!!!!!) but I am not going to stress. I am going to relax and enjoy the holiday and enjoy having Claire's attention be split with other people for a few days.

She is a MONSTER! Tantrums. Hitting. Whining. Crying. Then she smiles, kisses me, says "Mommy, I wuv choo" and it melts my heart. I love it when she says "I love you". However....the hitting. We sent her to time out in her room last night because we couldn't get her to stop hitting me. It was as if we sent her down a small dark hole to die.....the screaming was so bad! The second time in time-out she grabbed all of her stuffed animals in reach, sat on the ground, and hugged them as tight as she could (all while screaming). I think we have a drama queen on our hands. After a few moments in a dark bathroom and a few deep breaths I was ready to resume the role of good mother. I had a chat with her and then we read The Big Hungry Bear. Then? Bed time. A sacred, sacred time for parents.

On to Christmas! Hopefully I get my stitches out on Saturday morning and then we get to bake pies and be with family. Sounds a little like heaven to me. Merry Christmas!

Stitches Pictures

Alright...Here they are. They aren't as bad as I thought they were. I feel like it looked worse in real life.

Right after I got home from the hospital.

Day 2. I couldn't wash my stitches for 24 hours and it was still leaking a little, so it got a little gross looking by the end of the day.

Below: See how it was SUPER close to my cuticle? Lucky I missed it or else they would have had to cut my whole nail off and stitch it back together or else the nail grows in separate directions.

After it's mini bath.

There you go. It's been interesting not using this finger. Claire has already kicked it and smashed it with her hand. Ouch!

Finger Stitches Anyone?

I got 6 stitches in my index finger tonight. Here's the story...

We have these loaves of baguettes that have been in their original non-air tight bag for two days. Each time I go to the store I forget gallon freezer bags, so the bread has stayed in that bag...getting harder with each breath I take. Tonight I decided to use one more loaf before the bags are bought and into the freezer they go.

The crust is hard, but not terrible...just harder than normal. I mean, the crust is always hard anyway, but they're still good. I continue to slice the bread. Slice, slice. I get to the heel of the loaf, which seems like it has crusted through all layers. The bread slips and I slice my finger instead.

No, I didn't cry. No, I didn't curse. I just washed it off until Brian luckily walked through the door from work. My saving grace. Thank you for coming home right then. He helped me gather the first aid kit, cut my gauze and I wrapped it all up. I decided that I would wait to get stitches and I'll tell you why.

I had to accompany a violinist in our ward RS meeting tonight and I told her last minute that I would play a piano solo since they needed another musical number. Of course this was before I decided to cut my finger open....last minute. I cut my finger 10 minutes before it started and after all....it was sort of on the way to the hospital, right? (Not really since I had to go back home anyway. I just don't like not showing up last minute.) So, I went and played through my piano solo and made it through accompanying Away in a Manger. It wasn't awesome I'll admit, but considering a finger taped in a mound of gauze, being light-headed, and trying not to focus on the pain, I'd say it went pretty well. Then I was outta there.

Tangent: I have a student that misses lessons constantly due to minor finger sprains from basketball. If I can play under stitches conditions...yeah.

It was off to the InstaCare I went. I checked in and the nurse came to assess if I really needed stitches. It was the first time I really got a good look at it and it was just a bloody mess. Admitted. Nurse left, but I proceeded to hear several people make comments on "this blonde" and his "daughter definitely being blonde".... in that tone....you know. I felt like an idiot telling them I sliced myself cutting a baguette since I, too, am blonde.

I was taken back. Nurse Todd and I had a good chat as he was fixin' me up. After the painful numbing shots, I was good as gold, but boy was that painful. It was like my finger was having a baby....then the epidural kicked in. I even expressed my gratitude to Nurse Todd for local anesthesia. Doctor Devin came in and stitched me up with six delightful stitches holding my finger pieces back together. I was assured by Nurse Todd that Dr. Devin has the best sutures and I am indeed grateful. "See you in 10 days"- Christmas Eve. Lovely.

I have a picture....I might post it...it's kinda gross.

That's my story.

YAHOO!!!!

I just have to jot down a little bit about today.

• Claire had major jealousy over babysat baby. However, she got much better by the end of the day. Gave baby Adi a hug and a kiss on the tippy-top of her head when she was crying and played peek-a-boo. Darling. This second child may actually have a chance to live.
• Neither child took naps today. Adi....sort of did, but Claire was not the least bit interested in one.
• I remained patient and calm all day. Could that be attributed to my voice being gone? Possibly. Even if I wanted to be mad, it wouldn't come out that way. It was actually kind of nice being a little silent for one day.
• My Christmas piano recital was tonight and I'm so proud of my students! I'm always so proud! My mom and I even switched places tonight. Usually I'm the one performing and she's watching, but this time I watched while she played her song beautifully! She's a dream student and I'm lucky to have her.
• Last but not least, did I mention that my recital is OVER?????!!!!! Can we shout for joy people? I am already so much happier and less stressed! I think Claire is going to be so excited to have a fun mommy again. Little Jared (that's what we've decided on for now) is going to be thinking, "Wait! Did I switch mommy bodies? Where is all of that stress hormone I was getting for weeks?" It's gone baby boy. Christmas excitement begins today.

I even played tickle monster with Claire on a giant pile of pillows. Welcome Christmas!

Christmas Decembertime

What a Ca-RAZY month of the year! I think I need a week off just to learn how to breathe again! I'm almost done making Christmas presents (whew!) and trying to enjoy the days until Christmas. My Christmas recital is on Monday and although I am so excited to see my kids perform, I can't wait until it's over at the same time.

Some things we've done recently is....we went to ZOO LIGHTS! I was so incredibly impressed! Better than temple square in my opinion (although I still love temple square). It was so much fun and we did see some of the animals. I think Claire's favorites were the monkeys....and the monkeys. After that she got more into pushing her own stroller than looking at animals. We went with our good friends who moved to SLC. We don't see them enough and we miss them like crazy. Too bad the days of walking over to their house are gone.

Claire even got these awesome little slippers out of our zoo trip. I didn't think she'd like them that much, but she will wear them all day long. On Sunday she did NEW THINGS! She watched a movie for the FIRST TIME! That was huge....and I was very grateful because I did not feel well. We also got her hair in pigtails for the first time. They are adorable and she looks like such a big little girl. I swear I just had her yesterday...

This is how I've felt all month long. So tired!

Here is my picture at 25 weeks. Remind me that stripes are not my thing. Ugh.

I can't really say how I've been feeling pregnancy wise lately. I've been so preoccupied with other things that I really just feel stressed; however, I think being pregnant is amplifying my stress and making me a little short-circuited sometimes. I have hit the hunger phase. I never thought it would happen since it was coming so late, but it did. Obviously I've ballooned out in the last little bit (obvious to me at least). I have started to feel him move more and that makes me relax a little bit. This has been a more worrisome pregnancy, so it's nice to know that he's in there and moving around. I'm still trying to get used to our name that we've picked. I love it and I want to keep it, but I am still trying to adjust to the fact that we're having another baby and that it's a boy. It hits me some days, but then kinda fades until the next realization shock.

I have had a harder time with the whole gaining weight during pregnancy thing this time around. I don't know why, but man....I'm excited to be in my regular clothes again. If I was one of those women that just gained weight in her belly, that would be AWESOME, but for some reason, my legs (THIGHS) think they have to have a baby as well. Darn those thighs.

One thing that I know for sure is that the maternity world needs to figure out a better way to maternity pants. The blasted things should be thrown into the incinerator until every woman applauds at their disposal. I despise them.

I've started babysitting our friends little girl twice a week. Are babies really that SMALL???? Seriously! Claire came out a toddler, right? Thank goodness that's a no, but still! She's such a good baby, but I think we have a little jealous toddler running around the house. It's good for her. When I'm not holding Adi, Claire is fine. The minute I'm holding her it's books, books, books; hugs and more hugs. Even though she's jealous, Claire still loves to give her kisses and look at her tiny fingers. I wonder how she'll be with a baby around all the time. She's such a cutie and we're lucky to play with her a couple times a week. :)

One thing that is ultra, ULTRA pathetic, but I love. Once again: bareMinerals. I play with them every night after Claire goes to bed. I also have a very wonderful husband who looks at what new color scheme concoction I've come up with. I've never been into makeup like this, but it sure is fun! I'm like a 5 year old little girl playing with her fake make-up set. Pathetic, I know.

Project

As I have mentioned several times in previous posts, I have been a slave to Christmas making. I have been waking up early just to get started before Claire wakes up. Seven am....a time that I used to cringe just thinking about....is when I wake up, take my morning jog (which is interesting with a baby that sits on my bladder all the time) and then I start Christmas gifts as soon as I get home. It's a pity I can't post all of the things that I've made because I really have had fun with them. The only thing I can post is Claire's gifts. She's the only person who doesn't read my blog, nor would she even remember if she's seen what I've made her (usually she sits right by me as I'm sewing anyway).

Here is my latest project. It's one 'o clock and I just finished a few minutes ago. I think they turned out rather darling. I'd like to snuggle up in it anyway.

This one is for Claire

This one is for her "bebies". I am repainting a little doll cradle I had when I was one and giving it to Claire for Christmas. This will go inside so it can match her big girl blanket.

This is just because she's so silly. She will laugh so hard when I put stickers on her face. She'll peel them off and give them to me only to complain that there's nothing there. We're going through a lot of stickers.

And this picture just makes my little heart happy. This is a preview to our time in Ohio. Claire LOVED the teeter-totter. Of course her Dad was so good at helping her stay on. I just love her so much.

A Big Sigh....

We are back from vacation. I need to go back on vacation. It was wonderful! We had a wonderful time. I will be posting pictures and video soon (hopefully), but right now I'm just dropping in to say that I am working like mad to get Christmas presents done, so I will be on hiatus until they're finished. I knocked out two today, so hopefully I'll be on a roll!

A short little update is in session, I guess. Things are really great at our house! Claire is still trying to adjust to normal life again. Grandma and Grandpa Anderson let her get away with EVERYTHING out in Ohio, so it's quite an adjustment for her to not get her way all the time. It's been extremely difficult for me to get anything done this week so far because she wants to be held and played with ALL the time. Try getting my hair done? No, she is there to whine and hug my legs until her shrill crying gets to my nerves. Today I was ingenious! No, really! I had her play with toys on a blanket right by me and my hair actually got done. Wahoo! If she wasn't such a doll.... She has also learned to say "up, please" although it sounds more like "hup peassss". She puckers her lips so fat and will kiss us over and over and over. It basically melts my heart and I'm so glad she's such a lovey little girl! She is really into "bebies" right now. We can't go anywhere without touching them.

Brian is back to work, which hasn't been as stressful as we both anticipated with all of his deadlines and all. I am back to slaving away with primary stuff. I love primary, but boy there is a lot to do. Sigh. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I will be having another little person in our house to love on. I haven't quite gotten used to it. I think part of it is that I can't understand how I could possibly love another little kid more than I love Claire. I think that's normal. The other part is that it's a little boy and A) the name thing is still killing me. We've decided on one, but I still can't accept it yet. B) I have to get used to the idea that it's a boy...not a girl. Things are so funny.

In short, we're doing well. :) Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Lipstick

It has be a very. Long. Week.

Yes, I have to get my house cleaned before vacations.

Yes, I am worried about my upcoming piano recital since some of my students think they learn a song by not practicing.

Yes, Claire and I have had a couple of rough no-nap days due to errands.

Yes, Brian has been gone every single night.

Yes, I am stressed about Christmas present making.

YES, I am getting really into lipstick. The bolder the better.

Also, YES, lipstick makes me feel a whole lot better!

Family Moments

Here is what has been going on with us lately. We (as usual) are into the Christmas Season a tad earlier than everyone else. However, we didn't get to put up our tree exactly on Nov. 1st (sadly) due to Brian's wonderful undercooked chicken giving us food poisoning. We put up the tree on the 4th instead. Claire has done amazingly well with not taking the ornaments (beside the fact that MOST are a tad out of her reach).

Here is proof that this child LOVES mexican food. She's not the greatest eater in the world, but at least I know she's getting her protein. She would eat beans all day if I let her.

She wore this basket on her head for quite some time.

Here are my belly shots. The picture with the pink shirt is with Claire at 23 weeks. The recent picture is me at 21 1/2 weeks. I like a little comparison and I'll try to get a to-the-day 23 week shot to really compare.

I also started going through the rest of my belly shots and......did I REALLY get that ENORMOUS?????? Oh my gosh! I can't believe that I really expanded around the globe and back without popping! People say I'm not showing very much now, but just wait people, soon I will have swallowed a whale!

Why Claire Will Love Little Brother

I am convinced that Claire is going to be completely taken with this little brother of hers. Reason number one is that she just loves Boys. Apparently they're hilarious. She laughs this hard with all little boys. I think she was about 9 months old in this video! WHAT A CHUNK!

Reason number two is that she is also completely in love with her babies. She will put them to bed and give them kisses every single time I tell her to. It's a nightly ritual now and she loves it.

We're excited for little Brother! Nesting has even settled in (FINALLY)!!!!

Refiner's Fire

It is 12:30 and guess what I have spent the last not only 2 hours, but countless days before, doing? Going through the massive baby name book. Yes, I read every single boy name in the blasted book (minus the A section) and guess what? It didn't help me one single bit. We still liked our favorite two. We could have easily gone through the top 100 boy names of the last few years and found both (which I did). I just had to know. I had to read every. single. name.

Here is my conclusion:

Boys just aren't as fun to name. Sorry son. I had no giggly emotions of excitement come over me as we have been deciding. Anxiety is the emotion that I most correlate with choosing boy names. They're not frilly or pretty (thank goodness), but with that also comes a certain plainness that I just can't feel too excited about. Since Hubster nixed my favorite name long ago (Jackson) it has been a battle ever since.

Now, dear friends, I will give you our top five and you let me know what you think about them. I will reveal our decision afterwards....after I have thought long and hard about it for a few days, trying to get giddy about it. Once we decide it probably will not change once he's here, but I guess you never know.

Here they are (in no particular order):

1. Joshua

2.Gabriel

3. Nick

4. Jared

5. Zachary

Oh wait! I can't forget LeRoy. That's what we've been calling him in the meantime since it's so.....beautiful? Gorgeous? Lovely? It's basically the ugliest one that we could laugh at temporarily. If your name is LeRoy, then just take those question marks away from "beautiful", "lovely", and "gorgeous" and replace them with exclamation points. :)

6. LeRoy

Let me know! :)

Little Dreams

I went to Heaven yesterday. No, I did not die. I stepped foot into my lovely Banana Republic. Yes, this is deemed as heaven in my book. Silk clothes slipping through my fingers. Autumn fabric that is deep and luscious. Dresses. Shirts. Beautiful. Too bad I had to end up on the men's side due to my enlarging waistline. It's better that way since the silky stuff is always a little more heavy duty on my wallet. As I was at the cash register paying for Brian's future Christmas gifts, I decided on a few things. A few new dreams.

Dream #1: If I ever go back to work when my kids are in school, I don't think I'm going to do squat with my degree. I want to work at Banana and spend my earnings on employee discounted gorgeousness. I will be dressed in the new season loves and I'll have a great time.

Dream #2: I would like this to happen a little sooner, but I want to take a make-up class. No, I'm not talking about a Mary Kay consultant coming to tell me to apply my eyeliner before mascara, I'm talking more. You know how you go to any make-up store....Sephora and Bare Escentuals being new favorites....and all the women have the most stunning eyes you've ever seen? Yes, I want those eyes. All due to beautiful combinations of eyeshadow. I need to take a class. Tomorrow?

Dream #3: I want to learn interior design. Sometimes I get caught in the drab of white walls and cheap decorations and I know that there is a better way without spending a lot of money. I just need the ideas. I know several people that start with Pinterest, but I just can't get into it. I find it so mundane and frustrating that my house can't transform into the picture I'm looking at.

Dream #4: I want to be a great photographer. Enough said. I need to practice more.

That's all.

Better Write That Down

First of all, we just got back from our re-check ultrasound and everything looks great! Phew!!! She had us worried for a second because we still couldn't see a stomach, but after a few minutes it started to fill up and showed us where the sweet thing is. We're so grateful that everything is ok and for answered prayers.

Second, we had a wonderful weekend! It was so relaxing and fun. We didn't do much, just a lot of family time. We went to the mall on Saturday and got a little outfit for baby boy for $2 (thanks to JCPenny who sends out $10 off a $10 purchase) and we just walked around looking at things. It was nice to get out of the house for a few hours. The mall was followed by napping and then I got a couple of hours to work on Christmas presents. I LOVE making gifts. I almost feel bad for loving it so much for two reasons. 1) I make an ENORMOUS mess when I'm trying to be creative and it doesn't get cleaned up until I'm done. 2) I probably enjoy the making process and what it looks like in the end more than the person receiving it.

Third, we started a new cooking/cleaning way of life at our house. Brian always grew up like this: whoever makes dinner doesn't do the dishes. I liked it when we didn't have kids, but now it just doesn't work for us. It's nearly impossible actually. Dishes pile up for days and I HATE doing dishes. I would clean a million bathrooms before I would want to do the dishes. What I really need is a self-cleaning kitchen. Sigh. Anyway, I started to re-think our strategy since I would get angry that I was cooking and the dishes weren't getting done. Then I remembered a conference talk in which one of the Apostles told a story of trying to fix the washing machine and his wife told him to stop and go play with his children. My clockwork started...well....working. Since I'm with Claire all day, I think he needs to have some daddy time after work and then I can cook and clean AND it serves as my mommy break. We then switch roles on the weekends and I play with Claire while he cooks and cleans. We have done it for two weeks now and I LOVE IT. Our kitchen gets cleaned more regularly and I'm not running out of cups or utensils anymore. I also love that Brian gets more time with Claire and I think she's really enjoying all the attention.

That's what we're up to. :) All 4 happy and healthy. :)

We're having a.....

Bouncing bundle of a BABY BOY!!!!!!! Here's his little facial preview. Cute, isn't it? :) (haha....they're so adorable on an ultrasound, right?)

His little arms were always up by his face rubbing his eyes the whole time. He was a lot more wiggly than Claire was! We can already tell that he's a cutie! :)

Well, Here you go. Here's the proof....that is, if you can tell what ultrasound pictures are like. I can see. Definitely a boy. I knew right away (however, I knew before we were even pregnant that a boy was coming).

Here are the little fingers. They're the little dots toward the left in that big black hole. They look like peas in a pod.
Everything is looking alright so far. They couldn't find his stomach, so we were in and out of the ultrasound room all morning and early afternoon....still with no luck. If there is no stomach, then we could be facing some more serious problems, but we're not thinking about that right now. We're just praying for our little guy and hoping that it wasn't visible because mommy was sick and throwing up (nor eating or drinking) the whole day before. We love him already.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Well, we had a wonderful (for the most part) Halloween! Claire LOVED trick or treating and loved her candy bag even more! I took it away from her at one point to wipe off some dog slobber she was assaulted with and she was angry at me for doing so. She made the cutest little bee I've ever seen!

Bees love apples!

The whole family. Brian and I were so excited to dress up this year. The other years we've been married we haven't had costumes and it was L-A-M-E. Now, Brian loved his costume right away, but it took me quite a while to find a costume that wasn't too skanky (hard to do with those halloween costumes, right?), but I finally found one that I could make modest and I enjoyed being a bee with Claire!

Claire and my mom. Luckily Claire wasn't too frightened of the witch at her Grandma's house.

That was our night! We had a lot of fun (until Brian got hit with food poisoning and was up until 5 am throwing up - poor guy). Hope your Halloween was as good as ours!

New Babies

I bet you're thinking bab(ies) as in plural....? Well, yes, you are exactly right. We have gotten 4 new babies in our house and Claire is taking to them quite well. I think it will help her in being a big sister. :)

She LOVES to give all of her babies kisses, hugs, and rocks them from side to side. We'll have to work on her handling before the real baby comes because she likes to put it in a headlock with one arm and grab the legs with her other arm while she sways back and forth while saying, "Ohhhhhh".

Giving baby kisses

I know you all must be thinking, "What the ugly!?" and yes, you're right. These dolls are not new. Far from it. These dolls were mine when I was a little girl and I saved them for my "poor newlywed days" as I used to think of them. Well, at least I was a wise child and could foresee the true future, I guess. My one mistake back then was that I looked forward with a certain fondness of being poor that I don't really share with old self. One doll is missing one entire hand and the other hand has two fingers broken off....but the remaining ones say "I love you" at least. :)

Here's proof of "what the ugly": my rub a dub dolly. Look at that hair!

Our weekend was also wonderful! My little brother received the Melchizedek priesthood! We're all so proud of him and it was a wonderful day! I'm so grateful for good things that happen!

Claire had a BLAST once again at Grandma and Grandpa Woolsey's. My parents bought this cute little playhouse and Claire can't get enough. In and out of the door several times and then back in to cook the phone. Yes, you heard it. Cook the phone. It also has a doorbell that actually rings. It's darling.

Why...

I am cleaning house. Getting rid of stuff I don't need. Getting rid of facebook. I just can't have it anymore. It was great for when I was a single college person, but I'm not anymore. I used it then to make and associate with friends. Now, it's just there reminding me of all the people that don't talk to me anymore and reminding me that the world is getting farther and father away from the kind of relationships that I like. The kind of relationships that require more time together. It's just too easy. Relationships aren't supposed to be that easy.

I'll admit it too. There are times where I would much rather facebook a message to someone instead of calling them because I just don't want to talk to someone. That's ridiculous of me. I don't like it. I don't like knowing what everyone is doing all the time. Sure it can be fun to see someone's entire life on the internet, but mostly it's not. I guess I can be a little negative on this one, but it makes me feel more insignificant than I would like to feel. I'm through. All that really matters to me are my family and friends that show that they care, so I'm eliminating that negative part of me that feels so small.

I don't know if it all makes sense or not, but in the short of it, I went on a facebook fast for a week and it was great. I didn't accomplish anything grand, but I felt happier focusing on my family and not on anyone else's life. Claire has learned at least 3 new words since I started making a really big effort to play with her more (duck or "GUCK" is my favorite). I've been more relaxed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think all of this sounds incredibly stupid that facebook makes all of these negative emotions in me, but it does. So, I'll just make "friends" the old fashioned way and hopefully see people in person more often. :)

Plus, we bloggers know that blogging is better!

Hormones

Oh. My. Goodness. Let's chat, shall we. Let's talk about weird little things in your body called hormones. How they can twist and turn and change like the waves of the sea.

"Please don't go all mean and crazy on my like I've heard of other pregnant women doing," says the pleading husband that is begging for mercy.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't think pregnancy is any reason for going crazy or mean," says an immature and naive girl.

One day I thought I was normal. I had one easy, no brainer pregnancy. Everything was normal. Normal hormones, eating habits, happy times, tired times. Normal.

Then it began.

Let's talk about the woman who thought she was [somewhat] normal. Other than not being able to hold an interesting conversation, I wasn't totally crazy. I'm trying to search where that girl ran off to. Please come back....we don't like abandonment around these parts. Anyway, things were going just peachy. Then one trimester down and some slight problems I went crazy. I'm not sure if it's a combination of the problems mixed with pregnancy, or it's just what happens, but my goodness. I'm not quite myself these days. I get so.....let's say....angry, agitated, tense, emotional, opinionated and all in a not so good way. I can barely handle my stress or I start to linger on the deep end of things.

Example: Last night I was trying to think of Christmas gifts to give to my family. (I won't even talk about making my own Christmas list because I might have a panic attack since there really isn't anything that I want but Brian insists that there must be something.) We are poor, that's no secret. We are trying to do homemade gifts this year for most of our family that we can think of good homemade things for. I started to get really excited. I love making Christmas gifts. I feel like it brings out the spirit of the holidays more. Then I thought I had come up with a brilliant idea. I would make Brian and Claire these adorable stockings that I've seen. Some of them even have little "press here" buttons that make sound. They're beautiful and it would be a delightful project for me to do in the coming weeks and I was positive they would LOVE them since they are SO MUCH WORK! I was wrong. Brian took one look at the picture I showed him of the stocking I had in mind for Claire and said, "Why would you want to do that. I have my own stocking tradition." Needless to say I was.....wounded. (I say wounded because it sounds more pathetic). I was hurt and mad that he would knock out my hard working idea so quickly. I wanted to make our own stockings and didn't think tradition had anything to do with it. It was a gift. Does he even know how much work I was willing to go through for that stocking for him and Claire? No. I sat there stewing and stewing over it. Angry. I was being ridiculous. I guess tradition always trumps. Tell me that when the baby is here.

Then, it was time to think of extended family gifts. Brian's side of the family, piece of cake. My brothers? IMPOSSIBLE!!! How could I possibly make something for them that they would 1) use. 2) think is cool. 3) even like 4)not throw away.....the list goes on. I started panicking. I told myself I was going to bed because I was on the verge of crying and yelling and being ridiculous. I made it to my bed to only sit there looking on google for homemade gifts for another 2 hours. My blood just starts to boil when I can't figure things out. I got angry and went to bed. Can those brothers of mine just tell me something they want made for them, please?

You'd think that sleeping would ease the anxiety of a Christmas that is another 8 weeks away. No. I was hoping for a revelation so great this morning, but no such thing came. I'm antsy all. the. time. Not just about Christmas. I'm that way about making dinner. Going to bed on time. Reading my scriptures. Claire taking naps. Making to do lists. And it's especially ridiculous when things are not going as I originally planned.

Normal Stacy, please come back.....this is annoying.

17 Weeks

Here is me at 17 weeks today. It's basically an atrocious picture, but oh well. I couldn't get a better one, so this will have to do.

I had a friend once say to me that "pregnancy does something to you" to make you want to lose weight after the baby is here. Well, I was so huge with Claire, but the fact that I wanted to be showing forever didn't really have an effect on me. However, this time is a little harder. I think it's because I know it just gets bigger from here and that I have the uncomfortable time to look forward to. Can't wait until I have the little baby here and we can go jogging together. :)

Other than that, things have looked good. I'll be honest, I'm afraid that something is wrong since the whole scare episode a couple weeks ago. I didn't want to take a belly picture until I knew there was a heartbeat still. I know that sounds crazy, but it was a little unnerving for me. Everything looked fine at the appointment, but now I'm more anxious than ever to have my ultrasound and make sure everything is going well. At this point we're excited to find out what we're having, but could almost care less at the same time. We just want to know that everything's ok. I think we're having a boy. Undoubtedly having a boy. However, I could DEFINITELY take another gal pal in my house! We have so much fun. Brian says that we're having a girl....because he wants a boy. Logic? I don't know. All he says is that if he says a girl, then we'll have a boy and he truthfully wants a boy because, get this, he's scared that a second girl wouldn't be as cute as Claire. If that's the case, then he would have to lie to girl #2 if he tells her that she's the cutest girl in the world because.....that wouldn't be true. Claire is the cutest girl in the world. Sigh. Ok Brian. :)

I'm hungry, but not as hungry as I thought I would be at this point. With Claire all I felt like doing was eating. With this one, I kind of eat like normal with one extra snack in the afternoon. I'm still emotional. For instance, we were watching Cars on Monday night and at the end where the blue Dynaco car gets all smashed up and Lightning McQueen gives up the Piston Cup to push him to the finish line. Tears. Actually, it makes me get all teary eyed just thinking about it.

I've thought I've felt the baby move a couple times, but I'm still not sure if it was a muscle spasm, gas (you pregnant women know what I'm talking about!), or if it was actually baby. I felt Claire move so early, so I'm so excited for that part to come.

And just because she's a cutie, here is Claire enjoying our afternoon popcorn snack while watching the latest Parks and Recreation. She could take that bear anywhere.

Feel Like Giving Up

Do you ever feel like the world is closing in on your ambitions and you just want to stop everything you're doing because, let's face it, you're not going to succeed anyway? I'm trying very hard to refuse that inhibitor of my motivation, but sometimes it is so hard. Friday was one of the longest days I can remember. I got 3 hours of sleep because I had a lovely laugh-my-guts out girls night on Thursday, but I had a doctor's appointment on Friday....early. Too early.

The appointment was pretty normal, with a light caution from the doctor to take it easy. Ok Doc. I'll tell Claire that you said that. When the laundry piles up, I will tell it to do itself. When my stomach tells me that it's hungry, I will simply sit on the couch and imagine the food it could be eating. Thank you.

I came home, with high hopes that Claire was still sleeping. Brian was. She wasn't. Sigh. Now I was looking forward to Claire's 1:00 nap time. This is heaven in my home. Fits in right next to Christmas cheer in my book. Nap time. Sigh.

1:00 comes and so does the beck and call to run errands for my brother-in-law that I already scheduled in. Sadly, Claire took her 1:00 nap in the car. I was hoping she would nap later since she slept for a mere 10 minutes. No, apparently she thought she needed an emotional mother that would later swell up and burst. Duty done.

Home came, but no nap time. Dreams were smashed for that instance, so I poured some hot chocolate and warmed my insides. I had just ordered my holiday line for my Stella and Dot party that was to take place this Thursday. I was so excited for it because, after all, I love a good party and they are a blast to have. I sat down with my hot heavenly chocolate and read my emails. Hostess email! YAY! As I read her following lines: I cannot have a party this month due to personal issues.....my heart sank into despair. I told Claire I needed a hug, which she interpreted as, "RUN! Your mother wants to smother you!". Indeed I started to bawl. She then took pity on me, or so I thought. She came up to me, sat on my lap and looked at me confused. I thought a hug was coming from this sweet little person whom I had taught that crying = hugs. That confused look turned into apathy and she proceeded to sit on my head.

Thank you Claire.

So, for the time being, I am trying to stay motivated and keep going with the wonderful and glorious Stella and Dot. Heaven knows that I plan my outfits around a necklace and I look forward to getting dressed each day because of it. It's like being a little girl and playing dress up. So fun! I'm wishing that Heavenly Father will just call and say, "Stacy....poor, pathetic, Stacy. Here are two parties because I love you." Sigh.

I think I'll go have Claire sit on my head.

Oh That Little Red Peacoat

Best $20 I've ever spend. It's the cutest thing in the world! Every time we put it on her, she gets so excited, bends over and looks at it. Then she starts to laugh and kind of twirl....it's the most darling thing I've ever seen. So, we went outside and played in this winter-like weather today.

We also discovered that Claire LOVES popcorn. She shoves full mouthfuls into her mouth. Of course she has to share too...

Facebook

I. Am. So. Sick. Of. Facebook. I understand that it's useful and social networking is kind of the way of the future, but I'm sick of it. I joined it for a boy. Yes, that beautiful man I call my husband. I never wanted to because I thought it was stupid, but then I quickly got into it as most people do. Now....I'm so over it.

This is how my facebooking usually goes. Morning, mid-day....whatever time of day you choose, I get on the computer, check mail, check blog, check facebook. All I do is run through the recent posts and then I'm off. Waste. Of. Time. No one ever posts me and I rarely post anyone else. The only people I really use it for is contacting my best friends while they're working. I think I can email them or leave a message....I mean, they are my best friends.

here is the REAL reason though. I have this sweet little thing in my life that I call Claire and I don't feel like I'm being a good enough mommy. This little girl deserves more. She deserves a mommy who, like my old fashioned mommy without a computer, plays with her outside, reads books to her, tickles her toes, plays in the mud, does fun projects with her, shows her the changing colors of the leaves, builds snowmen, and is fun. I think I need to enjoy her while she's little.

Now, I'm not getting rid of it...I'm just not looking at it. In fact, I'm trying not to get on the computer at all while she's awake. I'm excited. Here's to no facebook and being a good mommy! I wonder what kinds of things we'll do and what I'll come up with! :)

One of THOSE bloggers

I have been terrible at blogging. I'm going to become a person that blogs about a whole month at a time soon. I don't mean to be nor do I want to be. I'll try to do better.

We'll start with my 15 week update.

The nausea has worn off (what little nausea I had). YAY! Doughnuts are still a daily craving, but I try to just eat an apple and drink water because I don't really want to look like a doughnut already.

This week has been a little scary/emotional for us. I had an ultrasound on Monday to make sure everything is ok because I started bleeding on Sunday night (sorry if that's TMI for you). Talk about scary. Everything looks to be ok for now, we're just keeping watch on this little baby of ours. They said I have a very small uterine tear that they're not worried about. Apparently they're normal when your uterus is stretching. That's probably not why I'm bleeding though. They said I probably just burst a capillary when I was sneezing or something or maybe I over-did it the other day and it's nothing to worry about. Well, I tell you what, it's scary and I do worry about it! It was such a relief to see that everything is ok and we're just praying like crazy that it stays that way.

Here's a shot of the little tyke. The glory of ultrasounds: the baby's head and body are magically disconnected. Haha. The larger round circle to the left is it's body and the one to the right is a face shot. You can see the eye socket and it's nose. The bug eye looking thing on the other side of it's head is the little hand. This baby was kicking and moving like CRAZY. The only thing Claire did when we had her ultrasound was move her hand once. This was a little more fun to see it wiggling. I'm not gonna lie....I cried when I saw it's heart beating. It was a scary morning. Thank goodness my mom came down and took care of Claire and me. She is so wonderful and I just don't know what we would do without mothers.

The rest of these pictures are just from what's been going on lately. We have been going camping and having a fun time. I just wish everything would go as we plan so we can have a more relaxing time camping. The first time we went, we couldn't find our camp site, so we ended up finding one up squaw peak and it did turn out to be fun. The problem? Claire slept for 3 hours while we trekked all over the mountain trying to find our reservation, that when we actually set up camp at midnight, she thought the tent was a bounce house and Brian and I were SO tired. It was fun though and she enjoyed herself.

Camping

Brian spent 5 days in Chicago this past weekend, so Claire and I went to my parent's house for a little company and to get away from Provo. We had so much fun! Claire didn't like the swimming the first day we tried, but we left the water overnight to warm up and she had a great time the next day!

Claire's new favorite thing is to sweep. I'm trying to find a Claire size broom because she knocks things over with the real thing.

Last but not least, she likes to eat alligators.