The Poopy Party

This is a story of why I should not throw parties when I have toddlers who refuse to let me clean.

Brian turned 30! THIRTY! on the 14th of December. I wanted to make it a memorable one since it's his segueway into his older man days, so I decided to throw a surprise party for him. I spent all week trying, a little at a time, to get the house clean. It was...a slow process. Wednesday and Thursday were the big days, with Thursday night being the party. I worked all night on Wednesday so I could save Thursday to make pies, cupcakes, decorating, and finish up the cleaning.

Silly me. I should have saved Thursday for leaving the house and returning at party time.

Well, I forgot to get the pie crust recipe from my mom, so I couldn't make it until around 3, right before I had to start teaching piano. That's when everything went downhill. I got the pies in the oven, lesson taught, thought I was successful.

Brian and I make dinner for his Grandparents once per week, so I started dinner early. Just making spaghetti, so that's no big deal, right? WRONG! I overcooked the first set of noodles since I was also trying to get the pie filling whipped up. Got the sauce made, more noodles in the pot, pies in the fridge. Then, Brian's dad called to tell me NOT to make dinner for them since his brother already took some. AHHH!!! Well, since that was my only plan of getting Brian not to come home from work AND I already had the food completely ready, I decided to go anyway.

We all made it, frantic, but we made it to 5:00. Whew! That was a lot of work. Now I had to wash everything in the dirty kitchen. I started washing the dishes and my very sweet two year old brings me a diaper. An empty diaper. A diaper that wasn't supposed to be empty. I threw the dishes in the sink, looked around, and saw her rock-sized poops all over the kitchen floor. I darted for the paper towels to clean it in a hurry so Jared wouldn't think he discovered candy. It was gross....and I started crying. My mom was on the phone and asked if I was ok. Of course I was, but since I was being dramatic, this was the scenario:

Me: Sob. Sob.
Mom: Are you ok?
Me: NO! Claire just brought me her diaper and there is poop all over the floor.

Cue my mother starting to laugh hysterically while trying to console me.

Me: Yes mom, I know that I'll look back on this and laugh, but right now it's NOT OK!....Alright...I'm ok. I really am. But I'm not.

Anyway, It was gross.

Really gross.

I also found a poop in the cupcake tin I let them play with earlier. Sick. Good thing I already made cupcakes and intensely disinfected it after that.

My Thoughts on Seizures

People have told me that I'm strong because I've handled a week long ordeal of Claire in the hospital. I've seen her in ways that I've never wanted to see her and I hoped and prayed that I never had to see it again.

My first thought is that I haven't seen anything in comparison to some of the people I know. Take Brian's friend, Natalie, who has her children in and out of the hospital for what seems like every day. Kidney transplants, surgery, never knowing if their results are going to come back good or bad. I can't even imagine how that must be. Another woman I know had a hard time getting insurance coverage for her son because he was epileptic. Ugh. I know they have medication for these things, but it would still put me on edge.

I ran into the bathroom last night to see what was happening. She's had several fevers since April to ease my fear a little, so I wasn't  terribly scared at this point. I opened the door and she was shivering, but looked scared. I scooped her up, ran to the couch, ordered her temperature taken by Brian (100.4 - not too scary), and then we just weren't sure what happened. She started grinding her teeth and wouldn't open her eyes. There was no convulsing even. She was just acting weird and then we couldn't get her to wake up or respond to anything. So, we went to the ER and it took her about 30 minutes before she acknowledged anything around her. So, that was the beginning.

Here are my real thoughts as everything is happening so fast: I'm terrified. Terrified. I can't stress it enough. I start to shiver, not because I'm cold, but because my body is almost in shock or something. The entire ride to the hospital I was shivering like I was sitting in ice, but my cheeks were red from me being so hot. My heart beats faster and I feel as if my stomach is going to explode. This persists until the fever breaks and we get of the meds.

I start thinking all the negative things I shouldn't. What if she never wakes up? Coma? What if she has brain damage? Oh no, her words are slurring....does that mean something? I can't imagine losing a child and I really don't know what I would do if did. I start to regret every bad mommy moment I've ever done. Especially now, it's hard that she's such a stinker of a two-year-old and sometimes I get so angry. Then this happens and I hold her so close and tell her how sorry I am. She's perfect and will always remain so. I could never get angry with her ever again because I love her so much. I want to keep her safe forever and never let her go.

Our nurse looked really scared and kept telling us how scary this was. I could see it in his eyes. Since this wasn't our first time I knew not to take any stock in his fear, thank goodness. I put a cold towel on her to get her temperature to go down a little bit. It seemed to help. Have you ever felt so helpless with your children? My goodness, it's the worst feeling in the world. Our doctor was fantastic, her urine culture was negative (yay), and we were sent home with a possible viral diagnosis.

She woke up at 5 this morning dry-heaving. I picked her up and she vomited a little. Maybe the flu? Not that much vomit....maybe not the flu? She went back to sleep. I started shivering. I just get so scared. I slept in their room the rest of the night. The truth is that I'm weak and scared. I "deal with it well" because well, what else am I do to? I'm sure, if put in the same situation, you would do the same.

The good thing is that she's acting normal this morning. Still has a fever, but is still stealing toys from Jared and refuses to call me "Mommy" (it's always "mom" and I don't like it). That's my Claire!

Thanksgiving

I feel like November was the LONGEST month this year! It couldn't be that I've been so excited to get on to Christmas since September. Now that December is finally here, I'm trying to soak it all in because I don't want it to go too fast. 

We set up our train a couple of weeks ago. Jared was terrified! I should load the video of it.....maybe later. Luckily, after sitting with him for quite some time, he warmed up to the little choo choo and now chases it in circles.

 Claire absolutely loves umbrellas. She kept playing with mine and almost breaking it, so we got her one that's a little more her size. She just had to have it open in the car and apparently it was just that soothing. :)

Brian got his birthday present early....since he was a stinker and looked at the shipping confirmation email from Amazon when he wasn't supposed to. It's alright, dear. We had fun playing his new game over Thanksgiving. (This is is "I'm so surprised by this gift I already knew about" face.)

Yes ladies, He's single AND he likes kids AND he looks pretty darn cute with them. 

I, for one, am so glad Frosty is staying at grandma and Grandpa's.  There were times when Claire was being too quiet, so I went to find her. Once, she was playing this little electronic, and loud, toy next to Jared after I had just put him down to bed. The second time, she was putting him into mom and dad's bed while saying all sorts of nonsense to him while he sang to her.

Last, but not least, my two adorable boys in their batman attire. Brian couldn't resist the urge to get these little cute pj's for Jared, and then we found Brian's dream pajama pants because they are SO soft. Now they match and I think it's pretty cute.

Thanksgiving was wonderful and the food was wonderful. My mom did way too much work, as usual, and I enjoyed the break from Provo. It's nice to get out every once in a while! It was fun to spend time with the family and play some games. 

I had my first Black Friday at midnight experience. Well, I'll know better next year of when to stand in line. My dad and I went to Kohl's. They are already incredibly slow at checking on a normal day. We spent almost 2 hours in line and went about 20 feet. I wasn't even going to buy anything. I went just to look, but my Dad just HAD to have this toy pirate ship....and it is pretty darn cute. We ended up going to the "short" line of 4 people, but we had to sign up for a card to do it. Even with only 4 people in line, we still spent another 25 minutes in line. Crazy. Next time we'll do better.

TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!