New Babies

I bet you're thinking bab(ies) as in plural....? Well, yes, you are exactly right. We have gotten 4 new babies in our house and Claire is taking to them quite well. I think it will help her in being a big sister. :)

She LOVES to give all of her babies kisses, hugs, and rocks them from side to side. We'll have to work on her handling before the real baby comes because she likes to put it in a headlock with one arm and grab the legs with her other arm while she sways back and forth while saying, "Ohhhhhh".

Giving baby kisses

I know you all must be thinking, "What the ugly!?" and yes, you're right. These dolls are not new. Far from it. These dolls were mine when I was a little girl and I saved them for my "poor newlywed days" as I used to think of them. Well, at least I was a wise child and could foresee the true future, I guess. My one mistake back then was that I looked forward with a certain fondness of being poor that I don't really share with old self. One doll is missing one entire hand and the other hand has two fingers broken off....but the remaining ones say "I love you" at least. :)

Here's proof of "what the ugly": my rub a dub dolly. Look at that hair!

Our weekend was also wonderful! My little brother received the Melchizedek priesthood! We're all so proud of him and it was a wonderful day! I'm so grateful for good things that happen!

Claire had a BLAST once again at Grandma and Grandpa Woolsey's. My parents bought this cute little playhouse and Claire can't get enough. In and out of the door several times and then back in to cook the phone. Yes, you heard it. Cook the phone. It also has a doorbell that actually rings. It's darling.

Why...

I am cleaning house. Getting rid of stuff I don't need. Getting rid of facebook. I just can't have it anymore. It was great for when I was a single college person, but I'm not anymore. I used it then to make and associate with friends. Now, it's just there reminding me of all the people that don't talk to me anymore and reminding me that the world is getting farther and father away from the kind of relationships that I like. The kind of relationships that require more time together. It's just too easy. Relationships aren't supposed to be that easy.

I'll admit it too. There are times where I would much rather facebook a message to someone instead of calling them because I just don't want to talk to someone. That's ridiculous of me. I don't like it. I don't like knowing what everyone is doing all the time. Sure it can be fun to see someone's entire life on the internet, but mostly it's not. I guess I can be a little negative on this one, but it makes me feel more insignificant than I would like to feel. I'm through. All that really matters to me are my family and friends that show that they care, so I'm eliminating that negative part of me that feels so small.

I don't know if it all makes sense or not, but in the short of it, I went on a facebook fast for a week and it was great. I didn't accomplish anything grand, but I felt happier focusing on my family and not on anyone else's life. Claire has learned at least 3 new words since I started making a really big effort to play with her more (duck or "GUCK" is my favorite). I've been more relaxed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think all of this sounds incredibly stupid that facebook makes all of these negative emotions in me, but it does. So, I'll just make "friends" the old fashioned way and hopefully see people in person more often. :)

Plus, we bloggers know that blogging is better!

Hormones

Oh. My. Goodness. Let's chat, shall we. Let's talk about weird little things in your body called hormones. How they can twist and turn and change like the waves of the sea.

"Please don't go all mean and crazy on my like I've heard of other pregnant women doing," says the pleading husband that is begging for mercy.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't think pregnancy is any reason for going crazy or mean," says an immature and naive girl.

One day I thought I was normal. I had one easy, no brainer pregnancy. Everything was normal. Normal hormones, eating habits, happy times, tired times. Normal.

Then it began.

Let's talk about the woman who thought she was [somewhat] normal. Other than not being able to hold an interesting conversation, I wasn't totally crazy. I'm trying to search where that girl ran off to. Please come back....we don't like abandonment around these parts. Anyway, things were going just peachy. Then one trimester down and some slight problems I went crazy. I'm not sure if it's a combination of the problems mixed with pregnancy, or it's just what happens, but my goodness. I'm not quite myself these days. I get so.....let's say....angry, agitated, tense, emotional, opinionated and all in a not so good way. I can barely handle my stress or I start to linger on the deep end of things.

Example: Last night I was trying to think of Christmas gifts to give to my family. (I won't even talk about making my own Christmas list because I might have a panic attack since there really isn't anything that I want but Brian insists that there must be something.) We are poor, that's no secret. We are trying to do homemade gifts this year for most of our family that we can think of good homemade things for. I started to get really excited. I love making Christmas gifts. I feel like it brings out the spirit of the holidays more. Then I thought I had come up with a brilliant idea. I would make Brian and Claire these adorable stockings that I've seen. Some of them even have little "press here" buttons that make sound. They're beautiful and it would be a delightful project for me to do in the coming weeks and I was positive they would LOVE them since they are SO MUCH WORK! I was wrong. Brian took one look at the picture I showed him of the stocking I had in mind for Claire and said, "Why would you want to do that. I have my own stocking tradition." Needless to say I was.....wounded. (I say wounded because it sounds more pathetic). I was hurt and mad that he would knock out my hard working idea so quickly. I wanted to make our own stockings and didn't think tradition had anything to do with it. It was a gift. Does he even know how much work I was willing to go through for that stocking for him and Claire? No. I sat there stewing and stewing over it. Angry. I was being ridiculous. I guess tradition always trumps. Tell me that when the baby is here.

Then, it was time to think of extended family gifts. Brian's side of the family, piece of cake. My brothers? IMPOSSIBLE!!! How could I possibly make something for them that they would 1) use. 2) think is cool. 3) even like 4)not throw away.....the list goes on. I started panicking. I told myself I was going to bed because I was on the verge of crying and yelling and being ridiculous. I made it to my bed to only sit there looking on google for homemade gifts for another 2 hours. My blood just starts to boil when I can't figure things out. I got angry and went to bed. Can those brothers of mine just tell me something they want made for them, please?

You'd think that sleeping would ease the anxiety of a Christmas that is another 8 weeks away. No. I was hoping for a revelation so great this morning, but no such thing came. I'm antsy all. the. time. Not just about Christmas. I'm that way about making dinner. Going to bed on time. Reading my scriptures. Claire taking naps. Making to do lists. And it's especially ridiculous when things are not going as I originally planned.

Normal Stacy, please come back.....this is annoying.

17 Weeks

Here is me at 17 weeks today. It's basically an atrocious picture, but oh well. I couldn't get a better one, so this will have to do.

I had a friend once say to me that "pregnancy does something to you" to make you want to lose weight after the baby is here. Well, I was so huge with Claire, but the fact that I wanted to be showing forever didn't really have an effect on me. However, this time is a little harder. I think it's because I know it just gets bigger from here and that I have the uncomfortable time to look forward to. Can't wait until I have the little baby here and we can go jogging together. :)

Other than that, things have looked good. I'll be honest, I'm afraid that something is wrong since the whole scare episode a couple weeks ago. I didn't want to take a belly picture until I knew there was a heartbeat still. I know that sounds crazy, but it was a little unnerving for me. Everything looked fine at the appointment, but now I'm more anxious than ever to have my ultrasound and make sure everything is going well. At this point we're excited to find out what we're having, but could almost care less at the same time. We just want to know that everything's ok. I think we're having a boy. Undoubtedly having a boy. However, I could DEFINITELY take another gal pal in my house! We have so much fun. Brian says that we're having a girl....because he wants a boy. Logic? I don't know. All he says is that if he says a girl, then we'll have a boy and he truthfully wants a boy because, get this, he's scared that a second girl wouldn't be as cute as Claire. If that's the case, then he would have to lie to girl #2 if he tells her that she's the cutest girl in the world because.....that wouldn't be true. Claire is the cutest girl in the world. Sigh. Ok Brian. :)

I'm hungry, but not as hungry as I thought I would be at this point. With Claire all I felt like doing was eating. With this one, I kind of eat like normal with one extra snack in the afternoon. I'm still emotional. For instance, we were watching Cars on Monday night and at the end where the blue Dynaco car gets all smashed up and Lightning McQueen gives up the Piston Cup to push him to the finish line. Tears. Actually, it makes me get all teary eyed just thinking about it.

I've thought I've felt the baby move a couple times, but I'm still not sure if it was a muscle spasm, gas (you pregnant women know what I'm talking about!), or if it was actually baby. I felt Claire move so early, so I'm so excited for that part to come.

And just because she's a cutie, here is Claire enjoying our afternoon popcorn snack while watching the latest Parks and Recreation. She could take that bear anywhere.

Feel Like Giving Up

Do you ever feel like the world is closing in on your ambitions and you just want to stop everything you're doing because, let's face it, you're not going to succeed anyway? I'm trying very hard to refuse that inhibitor of my motivation, but sometimes it is so hard. Friday was one of the longest days I can remember. I got 3 hours of sleep because I had a lovely laugh-my-guts out girls night on Thursday, but I had a doctor's appointment on Friday....early. Too early.

The appointment was pretty normal, with a light caution from the doctor to take it easy. Ok Doc. I'll tell Claire that you said that. When the laundry piles up, I will tell it to do itself. When my stomach tells me that it's hungry, I will simply sit on the couch and imagine the food it could be eating. Thank you.

I came home, with high hopes that Claire was still sleeping. Brian was. She wasn't. Sigh. Now I was looking forward to Claire's 1:00 nap time. This is heaven in my home. Fits in right next to Christmas cheer in my book. Nap time. Sigh.

1:00 comes and so does the beck and call to run errands for my brother-in-law that I already scheduled in. Sadly, Claire took her 1:00 nap in the car. I was hoping she would nap later since she slept for a mere 10 minutes. No, apparently she thought she needed an emotional mother that would later swell up and burst. Duty done.

Home came, but no nap time. Dreams were smashed for that instance, so I poured some hot chocolate and warmed my insides. I had just ordered my holiday line for my Stella and Dot party that was to take place this Thursday. I was so excited for it because, after all, I love a good party and they are a blast to have. I sat down with my hot heavenly chocolate and read my emails. Hostess email! YAY! As I read her following lines: I cannot have a party this month due to personal issues.....my heart sank into despair. I told Claire I needed a hug, which she interpreted as, "RUN! Your mother wants to smother you!". Indeed I started to bawl. She then took pity on me, or so I thought. She came up to me, sat on my lap and looked at me confused. I thought a hug was coming from this sweet little person whom I had taught that crying = hugs. That confused look turned into apathy and she proceeded to sit on my head.

Thank you Claire.

So, for the time being, I am trying to stay motivated and keep going with the wonderful and glorious Stella and Dot. Heaven knows that I plan my outfits around a necklace and I look forward to getting dressed each day because of it. It's like being a little girl and playing dress up. So fun! I'm wishing that Heavenly Father will just call and say, "Stacy....poor, pathetic, Stacy. Here are two parties because I love you." Sigh.

I think I'll go have Claire sit on my head.

Oh That Little Red Peacoat

Best $20 I've ever spend. It's the cutest thing in the world! Every time we put it on her, she gets so excited, bends over and looks at it. Then she starts to laugh and kind of twirl....it's the most darling thing I've ever seen. So, we went outside and played in this winter-like weather today.

We also discovered that Claire LOVES popcorn. She shoves full mouthfuls into her mouth. Of course she has to share too...

Facebook

I. Am. So. Sick. Of. Facebook. I understand that it's useful and social networking is kind of the way of the future, but I'm sick of it. I joined it for a boy. Yes, that beautiful man I call my husband. I never wanted to because I thought it was stupid, but then I quickly got into it as most people do. Now....I'm so over it.

This is how my facebooking usually goes. Morning, mid-day....whatever time of day you choose, I get on the computer, check mail, check blog, check facebook. All I do is run through the recent posts and then I'm off. Waste. Of. Time. No one ever posts me and I rarely post anyone else. The only people I really use it for is contacting my best friends while they're working. I think I can email them or leave a message....I mean, they are my best friends.

here is the REAL reason though. I have this sweet little thing in my life that I call Claire and I don't feel like I'm being a good enough mommy. This little girl deserves more. She deserves a mommy who, like my old fashioned mommy without a computer, plays with her outside, reads books to her, tickles her toes, plays in the mud, does fun projects with her, shows her the changing colors of the leaves, builds snowmen, and is fun. I think I need to enjoy her while she's little.

Now, I'm not getting rid of it...I'm just not looking at it. In fact, I'm trying not to get on the computer at all while she's awake. I'm excited. Here's to no facebook and being a good mommy! I wonder what kinds of things we'll do and what I'll come up with! :)