10 Month pictures

I'm 5 days early on this. I'm so particular that I usually document the months mark on the exact day, but I'm just to exhausted lately to even care. All this waking up early to exercise and get Claire to school is kicking my Rumpelstiltskin.

So, I already gave a run down on this little girls behavior and likes/dislikes. Here are a few pictures of her beautiful face. She does have "red" hair. It's really more auburn than red, but it looks SO red in these pictures. Not sure if it's the hue of her dress, the crate, or the brick behind her. I swore I would never have a red head because there really isn't a TON of red heads in our families, but here she is....and I am a little in love with her hair. It's such a rich, pretty color.

She was making the funniest faces. I'm so glad I snapped them! 

Haha. Doesn't it look like she's growing flowers out of her nose? Bad prop positioning. 

Hey, Miss Sass! How ya doing'? 

Then the wind came.... 

and came... 

...gave her a break.... 

...and came again...

and again. 

Blowing raspberries. 

Her tongue is always out. 

Sweet Claire gave me a paper that said "I love u Mom". She is so adorable and thoughtful. Always has been. 

I couldn't get a decent picture of Mr. Wont Stop Moving. Golfing here. 

LEGO TIME! 

Hailey thoroughly  enjoyed her piano time with Elder Evans

"Here....let me turn the page for you." 

The great studier. 

Squish Update! WALKING!!

She's walking! HOORAY! I love this stage! She can go outside without wearing out her knees. I'm also hoping that eating leaves is less appealing since she won't be on the ground all the time. Our kids have walked all around the same time. Jared was our latest walker at 10.5 months old and Claire was a 9 month walker. Hailey is right in the middle at 9 months 3 weeks. Seriously though, I can't believe that she's this old and this big. Cue tears.

Now, Because these are too adorable not to post, here are her bath time pictures. I think bath time is her most favorite time of day. She's always disappointed I don't let her stay in longer. I should....but there are two other hooligans to wrestle to bed. One day...

Now I just want to talk about this girl. She has two teeth. Finally. I kinda felt like it took forever to get them, but since I'm still nursing, I'm very grateful she got them now and not sooner. Sometimes motherhood is terribly painful with teeth. I guess that's why weening gets easier as development (aka TEETH) happens. 

She is such a happy little girl. She really does love to be held still and is annoyingly spoiled in this area. I just can't help it. She's either too adorable not to hold, or I just want quiet....and holding her ceases the screaming. She's learned to get what she wants by practicing the saddest cry in the entire world equipped with an adorable cry face. Look at me....I'm mush. 

She does not like to sleep anymore. You know how some people's kids take naps until they're 21? Well, she's already protesting and she's not even one yet! She fights it and fights it. She closes her eyes, I celebrate, and then something clicks and she jumps back to reality, sits up and keeps her eyes peeled for anything that will keep her up. This is especially frustrating at bedtime because....remember that she's equipped with that adorable cry face? Screaming it out has been our only option with this one. She usually falls asleep in less than 5 minutes though, so I do the dishes to distract from adorable/sad cry. 

She has the most beautiful hazel eyes the world has ever seen. Sorry to be so biased and truthful, but they really are the best. Each of our children has a different eye color. She's our brown eyed, auburn hair. It melts me. 

She loves food! More specifically she loves bread, applesauce, and ice cream. If these things are being consumed by anyone other than herself, she will literally scream at you. Not cry. It's like a yelp mixed with a manly grunt, mixed with a scream. She's perfectly content when she gets her treat and then goes back to her masculine screaming when it's finished and she wants more. Especially the ice cream. It's pathetic that I normally sneak my ice cream consumption from a 9 1/2 year old. It's true though. I disguise it in different cups/bowls/spoons....and she always knows. It's like she has an ice cream sixth sense. She must be my child. 

Her favorite chore is to destroy. Mostly she loves to take the dishes OUT of the dishwasher as I am trying to put them IN. A little bit of an irritating hobby if you ask me. I don't like to do the dishes even once, so twice is a little unacceptable. Other than that, I clean so she will be entertained by the possibilities of destruction. She's a slower destroyer than Jared was, thank goodness, but she loves it just as much. 

Her laugh is contagious and adorable. I crave it. Just see.....

The Losing Project Part 2

I have to start this one by saying that I had my mom join weight watchers/workout at the same time I did. She too was reluctant, but decided to do it and has been rocking it ever since. She lost 40 lbs in a year and looks absolutely amazing.

So Hailey had been born. It's so normal to not love that squishy after baby belly so much. It's super weird feeling and strange to have all of your organs in all the wrong places. After I had Claire and Jared, I relaxed just fine and let my body recover. My mom came to help after Hailey had been born and I was incredibly grateful to have her help. My mom and I did this whole weight loss journey together and she looked AMAZING! Really, very stunning. I had just had a baby, so all of my hard work was gone and I got very down on myself. Yes, my mom kept informing me, "You JUST had a baby." Literally, like 4 days ago, but baby number 3 was different for me. I didn't feel like I had all that down time I had with the first two. I had to come home and resume mommy-hood like usual. It was almost as if I went to the hospital, selected a baby, and brought her home. Claire was super sick, it transferred to Jared, Hailey went to the hospital for a fever, and my down-time just turned into incredible exhaustion not to mention the colic of child #3 almost leading me to mental insanity.

I know that comparisons are almost always a bad thing...especially when it comes to comparing ourselves. It's almost always negative. 98% always, right? But, my mom looked SO good! I was most definitely happy for her, no question. It was like each time I looked at her tiny little legs mine got bigger. It was totally unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous of me to think these things, but they didn't just go away. I can't even mention what nursing does to you. None of my shirts fit me, so I was wearing enormous clothes to fit over those double size nursing parts. That'll get you right there.

I decided that I needed something to make me feel more like that woman I really liked. I loved being "thin." Ah! There's that word I would have never used. I wanted it back. It felt amazing and empowering. My confidence went up 100 points. I felt more comfortable in my marriage. It was good. So, after only 4 weeks of having Hailey, I tried to slowly get back in to working out. The recommended 6 weeks seemed ages away, so I tried at 4 weeks. I went very easy on myself throughout the first workout, but when it came time to do the abs, my muscles were still in my obliques and it felt incredibly weird to even try. Plus, it had only been FOUR weeks. I started bleeding a little more heavily after that again (TMI), so I decided to lay off for another 2 weeks. It was too soon.

I tried again in the middle of week 5 with similar results, so I waited until I went back to my doctor. I saw him at 6 weeks and he said I was approved to anything I wanted, so I picked it up with more determination to work through those weirdly placed abdominal muscles. By then they were almost back into place. I started weight watchers again at 7 weeks. Everyone told me not to diet while nursing, so I researched a ton and came to the conclusion that I needed to be incredibly patient, but that it was doable. It is possible to lose weight while nursing by dieting, but it is also VERY, very slow. During the first few months I would only lose 1/2 to 1 pound every SIX weeks. If I hadn't had the experience before I got pregnant, I can safely say that I would have quit. I wouldn't have thought it possible. But, because I had done it before and knew it was slow, I persisted.

Let me clarify one thing, if I could go back in time and change what I did postpartum, I would. I was so obsessed over this whole spiel that I feel like I lost some of my time with little Hailey. Maybe it's just being the third child that time goes faster and faster, but I feel like my mind was in the wrong place. She was a very hard baby for the first 3 months. She cried non-stop after every feeding for 3+ hours. I wish I could have found another outlet. Something that helped my sanity through her colic that didn't make me down on myself and that helped me be a better me. I don't regret doing it in general, I just wish I would have had a more healthy attitude about it. I believe I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to do it a second time. Losing weight is a very daunting starting task and seems almost impossible. Add in nursing when you're told to consume all these extra calories and it seemed like the world would end before it was possible.

The first time I did weight watchers, I only paid for an additional month because I got pregnant. The second time, I only paid for the $56 three month plan again and then quit. I felt like 3 months was good enough for me to learn the skill and keep at it. I know how to correct myself if I have a crazy day and it's taught me much better eating habits. So, total I spent $130 over the course of 1 1/2 years and it was worth every single penny. Comes down to $7 per month. I could kiss them! I think everyone should do it whether you want to lose weight or not just because it shows you what your eating, how much, and where to improve. It's good information for everyone.

They always say to give your body 9 months to get off the baby weight since it took 9 months to put it on. I'm here to say that it's so true. Hailey turned 9 months old on December 28th and it was only a week before that that I met my goal of 129 lbs. Meeting a weight loss goal at the height of Christmas treats was somewhat hilarious and cruel at the same time. I got down to 127 pounds before Christmas, which allowed me to have a little wiggle room.  I did not go crazy about restricting myself because I wanted to enjoy my holiday treats, but having 2 oreo balls is just as good as having 12 (well, lets be real...almost as good). So, yes, I allowed myself to go up a couple of pounds because this is a lifelong process for me, not just a goal and quit kind of plan.

One of the funniest things I've encountered about weight loss is this. People ask me, "Gosh! You must be like 118 pounds, right?" Well, no, in fact I'm hovering right about 130. "Wow! you don't look it." Uh......ok? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Is 130 pounds huge or something? It doesn't make me mad or anything, I just think it's interesting. People carry their weight so differently. There is definitely a difference when you have a more muscular build to a very tiny one. Fortunately for me :), I got a more muscular build (which could be why I have such beefy baby girls....right?) and that means I'm probably gonna weigh a little more anyway. Thanks Dad! I get it from him....and I'm completely ok with that. I feel good about myself and I actually don't want to go lower than I already am. I think it will happen when I stop nursing anyway, so I want to keep a little on to prepare for that anyway. If it doesn't then great. :)

I've reached my "lofty" goal and I succeeded through almost an entire year of trying. I did it by eating healthier, eating less, choosing better options, and exercising. It feels good.



Some of the things I've learned is:

• Sometimes weight loss is an minute by minute process. It is HARD! If I could be happy at 500 pounds, I would eat my way there. I just really love food. It's a difficult relationship. On the days that it's really hard, it's really pep-talking myself every minute or every hour to make it through the day. The reward comes the next morning when you see that it all paid off. 
• I swear by weight watchers. It's easy! I tried myfitnesspal and it was too much work for me. I'm so glad it works for a lot of people, but if I'm going to put that much work into counting calories, it better be EASY! Another thing is that I didn't feel restricted really. I was hungry for a few days, but I still got to eat whatever I wanted. If I went over, they allow for that as well. I got cake, chips, cookies,etc....I just learned how to eat less and to eat better. If I wanted a cookie, I had one and not 12. Then I learned to have apples by the bushel instead of cookies.
• I also swear by the 30 day shred. I had a friend do it while pregnant and she lost 15 pounds. It's incredible. Seriously. It's all about constancy and determination. I can't say enough good things about this. It's also very cheap, so price can't even be an issue. It's also only TWENTY minutes. I don't have an hour per day to spend at the gym or doing my wonderful and beloved yoga ideo, but I can't get around 20 minutes. There's always time for it. 
• Choose light foods. I thought lite ranch would be disgusting. It's really not (even though my mother-in-law, whose been doing WW for years, won't eat it. It's not as flavorful, but it's still good. Same thing with lite cool whip. You get used to less sugar and it still tastes amazing. The greatest thing is, if someone doesn't know what ingredients you used, they'll love it like it's full of fat and sugar. (Shout out to sugar free pudding mixed with lite cool whip. Half the points means double the serving sometimes...but usually just half the points. :) ) 
• The dedication can be killer. I try to wake up at 5:45 to work out and shower before I have to take Claire to school. I really try to limit the kids' tv time and if I don't wake up early, it means that the tv time skyrockets because then I'd have to work out, shower, and get ready while they're awake. When I wake up early, I can usually do all of that before there up. I hate the earliness of it, but I love the alone time.
• Before I'm a wife and before I'm a mother, I am still a person. I am me. I've felt that at times this goal is selfish because shouldn't I be spending every waking moment serving my family? No. When I do this I start to get lost. I have to have more sanity grocery store runs and walks around the mall. If I have some time for my personal goals and time for them, I feel like I fulfill my family roles more efficiently and with a lot more enthusiasm. 
• It's so worth it. Every single second. 

And....because I always LOVE a good before and after picture.... (too bad I don't have the same shot comparison).

Before. I didn't realize back then that I had so much junk in my trunk. 

Florida 2009. I think Brian hit 137 and I was at 150. Let's not even talk about those horrible shorts I'm wearing. 

These two pictures are after. The first is when we moved to Texas and I was at 133. The other is of me at 129 (I think the shadow takes it's toll on that picture). I know, 4 lbs....to some that's basically the same, but when you've worked it off, even a half pound is accounted for.

(For those of you who knew me in elementary, I'm not trying to sport the same bangs I did back then. Don't worry. I know they look funny in the coral shirt picture. I got them cut today and they dried funny. They will be back in less weirdness tomorrow).

The Losing Project Part 1

There are so many things that I want to say or could say on this topic that I could babble on for pages and days, but for the sake of everyone's sanity, I will try to be concise. Try.

First off, let's get a few points out of the way:

• Diet...a four letter word. It's cursing to it's truest form. 
• Exercise. It's enjoyable for me, but consistency at it could be almost laughable.
• Thin. Not a word I would have ever used to describe myself. 

Now for a list of a different kind:

• Food. Oh yes, food. The next dearest love of my life next to my family and friends.
• Sugar. NOW we're talkin'.
• Cookies. Aren't they meant to be eaten by the 2 dozens?
• Food. Oh yeah....did I already say that?

Let's go back a few years, shall we? My freshman year of college I was determined to get the opposite of the "freshman 15". I was always on the slightly chubby side, always wanted to get out of that phase, but didn't really know what to do. I started running. Not a lot, but I ran a couple miles every day, six days per week and I did this for 3 months. I'd like to consider this my first attempt at being consistent in my exercise. I did not lose a single pound. In fact, I actually gained a couple, but i did lose about 1/2 inch around my waist. After running every day for so long and not really seeing the results, I stopped. The only thing I really gained was a new found like of running - something I previously detested.

(Please keep in mind that I am 5'1". A normal BMI for me is 110-130. Although the I don't wholly agree with BMI, it is somewhat useful. At 150 I was in the obese category. I do not think I was "obese" really, nor do I think that 150 is that heavy. However... I am short, so it was heavy for my height.)

Fast forward a few years to when I got married. I believe I was around 135 lbs when we got married. I was within a pound or two of Brian, who actually weighed LESS than I did. Always. I got comfortable in my married life and since we both love trying new foods...and I love eating it, I quickly shot up to 150 lbs. All this time I knew I was a little "soft" but I would have never considered myself overweight. (I know, seriously???!!) You know how most women have body dismorphic disorder where you think you're a lot bigger than you really are? I had the opposite problem. I'd pick up size 6 jeans thinking I could squeeze my size 8/10 behinder in them and was absolutely appalled that they didn't get over my butt cheeks. How could they not possibly fit? Ah....the dilemma. 

A year and a half later we had our first child. I started nursing and ate cookies by the 2-3 dozens at a time....right out of the oven. (This is grotesque, right? I know.) Seriously though. I stopped eating chocolate at the beginning of nursing, but my sweets cravings were uncontrollable, so cookies it was. Even though I probably had a bajillion cookie calories, Claire must have eaten more because nursing brought be back from 170 at 40 weeks pregnant to 150 in just three weeks. Then I dropped down to 140 a few weeks later. I stayed there for a couple more years until Jared was one year old. 

Ok...There you go. The backstory. I feel pretty good that it was only 2 paragraphs. :) 

Now, whenever I told Brian I wanted to lose weight he would say, "Why don't you try weight watchers?". Now....lets get something straight. Isn't it funny that if I asked for a cookie and he said, "why don't you go get one then," I wouldn't be astounded at his logical reply? I asked a question and he responded. Now, whenever I asked how to lose weight and he would tell me to do weight watchers, it was as if he was shouting "YOU'RE FAT!" and I'd get all sorts of defensive. "Weight watchers? Do YOU think I need to lose weight of something?!" How rude. Poor guy. Logical answer. What was I hoping for? Maybe I wanted him tell me that if I picked up P90X or ran 5 miles a day I would start to lose it, but he didn't. When I suggested running he would just tell me that running doesn't make you lose weight....something I refused to believe for far too long. And it's so true. If you run a lot, you'll burn calories for sure, but most people usually think "Hey, I ran 3 miles today, that means I get to eat more." Not true. You'll most definitely eat more calories than you burned with that mentality. You must must MUST have some strength training in there.

Isn't it funny? I was willing to work really hard to get rid of calories, but I wasn't willing to restrict my eating? I knew this girl who had liposuction. She said it was super painful and she gained everything back rather quickly, but she'd do it again because feeling skinny was amazing. We get our stomachs stapled, our fat sucked out through surgery, we buy "as seen on tv" products that probe your abs so you can each chips, watch tv, and get a 6-pack (yes, my family had one of those), but we aren't really willing to eat less. It's hilarious to me when you say it that way, but I think dieting is incredibly hard. 

In May 2013 I decided that it was time to get fit. I started doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and nearly died. It was so hard. In this video, she said, "If you're following our diet plan and doing our 30 day workout", you'll see results in no time. I nixed the diet plan and decided that the workout was enough. I tell ya, I hate dieting. I love my food. I also love hard work, so I felt that I could do that. 3 days into my 30 day shred, my best friend called and told me she was doing weight watchers. This girl is teensy. I didn't think she needed weight watchers, but decided that if she did, then I could do it too. To be honest, it was my inner competitive nature that kicked in and took over. "I could do it if she could" kind of mentality. 

The first three days were agony. I was STARVING! I ate strawberries by the pounds and spent more on fruit than I ever had before. I'm not kidding. I didn't think I'd be able to live let alone continue this diet. However, I had just paid $56 for a three month trial. If it didn't work, I'd get my money back. If it did work, then it would be the best $56 I'd ever spent. Why not try. So, after 3 days, my workouts got easier and I wasn't nearly so hungry. The 13 jelly beans I'd eat at the end of the day were consumed one by one with sheer delight in each bite. I learned to love eating in a different way. I love food, but now I really love what I eat and when I eat it. I take time with each bite. It's like budgeting. When you don't have a lot of money, you learn to make your money stretch and you take it more seriously. You know how much money you have, where it's going to go, and how to make up for a deficiency if there is one. And so it is with food. 

As for the workout. It took me one week to do level one. Two weeks for level two. Three weeks for level 3. At the end of this, I was 6 weeks in to weight watchers/30 day shred and I had met my goal of 133 lbs. In six weeks. WHY!!!! Oh why had I not done this years before? I didn't want it to be a lofty goal, but I hadn't been that low since high school. I got down to a size 4 and I have never been a size 4. 

Then pregnancy came. I did better than the first two pregnancies and gained less. It was the after Hailey being born that was super hard for me...

To be continued.

December

I feel like I have so much catch-up to do that I can't cover anything. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll let them do most of the talking. December was exhausting and fun, but I'm excited for a new year. I think I overplanned on my homemade gift category and totally wore myself out so much that I didn't feel like I got to enjoy Christmas like I should have. I was too tired. This year I will do it differently. Simplify. :) We loved every second of having Brian's family here and miss them. We love company. 

Hailey and I had MANY late night shopping trips.  

Claire didn't sleep enough either and had multiple meltdowns. 

We went to the park....in December....in jackets. Texas is still so foreign to me. 

Jared ran past Hailey with a hot wheels and hit her in the face. she has a little bruise by her right eye. 

It wouldn't be Christmas without a tree topple. 

And then we played outside in the water. Once again....so weird. 

Remember how I married an old man. He turned 32 last month. Thirty-two....it just sounds so old to me. :)  

We love him! 

He got his homemade cherry pie. Anything for him. He got to eat it almost all by himself. 

Then, there once was this time where we fell completely in love with our missionaries. We loved having them over and enjoyed our "hang out" times. Unfortunately we didn't get to have Thanksgiving with them because another ward member called dibs, so we called them for Christmas. Then, unfortunately again Elder Witkowski got transferred "clear out to jabip" and we didn't get to have them both anyway. Therefore, we had to celebrate Christmas a little early and let him have his gift. Christmas just wasn't the same without him. Darn transfers. We still miss him.

We gave him a Children's songbook. He's a convert and doesn't know the songs, so we didn't want him to feel lost ever again. 

Transferred before Christmas is bad, but transferred before Christmas and your birthday that happens on dec. 28th was cruel. 

Bye, Elder Witkowski! :( 

As tradition holds true, I let Brian open up one of his Christmas gifts so he could get some play time in before family arrived.  

We invited the Elders over for Christmas Eve. Santa brings gag gifts to everyone and we think Elder Lamberth thinks we're super uncool. Whatevs. We're not trying to fit in with anyone.

Look at that, "you're so uncool" face. 

Elder Evans. We love him! 

There's that face again.  

Nothin' like pj's on Christmas.  

Then Elder Evans took over the camera. He is known to get the most unattractive pictures of all people. Just wait. There's more...

...like this one. He told us to kiss and this is the shot he got. 

Claire wanted lots of princesses so this was a real winner!

....and even if we're uncool, at least there was a genuine smile when he got his gift of canned asparagus from the dollar store. (Background story: I asked him what his favorite dessert was and he asked me if I liked asparagus. I gave him a wary look and said, "you're killing me here". He'll forever get asparagus.)

Sibling love. The best.  

Probably my favorite moment of Elder Lamberth. When no one is looking he can be such a dear. 

Courtesy of Elder Evans. Hideous. Simply hideous.  

CHRISTMAS MORNING!!!!! 

Santa brought exactly what they asked for!!!

We are a Scooby-Doo family!

Sporting the Elsa cape mom made. 

A life-size spiderman? Sleeps with him every night. 

Our new photo printer that I can't wait to use! Thanks mom and dad! 

The kids got fatheads from my parents. Vinyl wall hangings. These are huge....and they look so cool! 

Cooking in her new apron. 

Then the real party began. Grandma and Grandpa Anderson came and spoiled us with all this playtime and super awesome toys/books. We miss them!  In fact, when they left on Tuesday, Claire woke up and said, rather angrily I might add, "I told them to leave on Wednesday!" She was a little put out that they left sooner than she wanted. Seriously, it went way too fast and I wish they could have stayed a little longer. Jeff, Mary and their kids came up for a few days as well, but I didn't take a single picture (gasp!). I think I was overwhelmed with the kids and Hailey only wanted to be held by me most of the time. By Saturday night I only felt like a mom of one because I hadn't really seen Claire and Jared in days. Haha. I think that's the joy of having cousins around to play with. 

I am now washing doodle bear every other day. A huge hit! 

Told ya I was exhausted. I love these moments.

Hailey turned 9 months old. She's 21 lbs! 

Look how they have the same expression. I love this one! 

Jared wouldn't sit still, so this is the best I got. 

We will greatly miss Uncle Brik and all his playtime/help when he leaves tomorrow. :(