Here's the Story

Monday morning I had an appointment with my OB/GYN. I was dilated to a 2+, so he said that stripping my membranes again at this point might actually help me go into labor. I was very skeptical, but told him to do it anyway. I had my membranes stripped with Claire 3 times, so I didn't hope for much. However, I got home from my appointment and timed my contractions all day long with them being 10 minutes apart. We still didn't get our hopes up because they didn't hurt, but around 6 pm they started to actually get painful. I would walk around the house hurting, but as soon as I started to relax, my contractions would stop or slow down to 15-20 minutes apart. I was getting a little disconcerted that they weren't getting closer together, but we decided to call my mom down here around 10 anyway because they were so painful. When I called her, I told her that if I hadn't seen it and/or experienced having a baby before, I would have thought babies came out the other way. As Amy Pohler wisely put it in Baby Mama, "It feel like I'm [pooping] a knife." Thank you Amy...that is exactly what it feels like. I laugh now at the phrase, but more at the fact that it's true. Then she gets wheel-chaired down the hospital hallway knocking things over or almost hitting everyone in her way. That is also what I felt like doing.

Between waiting for mom to get here, putting Claire to bed, and getting ready for the hospital, it was 11:30 by the time we actually got to the hospital. Laboring at home is LAME. Claire was so easy. Go to the hospital...laughing, fall asleep...still laughing and excited. Pain? Oh no problem...let me give you an epidural. Then sleep. Sigh. That was nice. All of you natural child-birthers can now think less of me because I am such weak sauce. However, if I were to choose between being induced and going spontaneous, I probably would choose......ugh.....spontaneous again. After all...he was a day early and that is pretty wonderful.

When we got to the hospital I was dilated to a 4+, so it still wasn't a for sure thing that I could stay. I was REALLY hoping to stay since I was in so much pain and I couldn't wait for my epidural. After a few minutes of waiting and a few contractions I really thought they were going to send me home since I wasn't convinced that my contractions were strong enough; however, the nurses came back from trying to find the doctor and said they were making the executive decision in letting me stay. HALLELUJAH!!!! In no time at all the anesthesiologist was there to give me my epidural. I told him he was my new hero as he put a gigantic needle into my spine. Never felt so good. Just 20 minutes or so from not having any pain! I couldn't have been more excited. It was 12:30 am when they gave the epidural and when they checked me a few minutes later, I was still dilated to a 4+. After 15 minutes of waiting, the epidural had made my legs a little numb and my bottom a little numb, but I was still feeling my contractions. After another half hour I asked the nurse if it was normal for it not to be working at this point. She just said that she would get the anesthesiologist as soon as he was out of his c-section. Somewhere during that hour my water had broken. I remember being so excited that my water broke with Claire, but this time I just wanted her to stop touching my legs to let me die in agony and at least my legs would be together.

At 1:45 the anesthesiologist finally came in, gave me the "strong stuff" and said that every contraction would be less and less pain. Oh, how I wanted to believe him, but nothing was happening. My legs got more and more numb, but my contractions were coming on with a vengeance. All I remember during the whole thing is trying to take it one contraction at a time. I was trying to stare at various things to help me through them. I believe I asked Brian 3 times to kill me, which he replied a strong, "NO". Darn it man, have some sympathy! :) I also remember almost blacking out, but then I thought, "Oh no, if I do that, then I'll have to have a c-section....and my epidural isn't working. That would be worse." So I just breathed and relaxed as much as I could. Somewhere in the midst of all the pain was the thought of Hawaii. Sigh. I believe that is on my list of places I should be visiting soon.

After that I'm not sure of the time frame. Dr. Wolsey came in sometime around 2 and told me that I was fully dilated and that I would be delivering soon. I saw him a couple times for my prenatal visits with Claire and he had told me, "There is no special place in Heaven for people who endure that much pain" trying to convince me that going natural isn't the way to go. I reminded him of that advice and told him, "I think I'm deserving that special place in heaven today." Since he was sort of making jokes to make light of the situation, I thought I'd give it a try. I thought I was pretty funny, but I don't know what he thought of my so-called joke. I just closed my eyes and breathed. After about 20 minutes in normal time and an eternity to me, Dr. Wolsey sat at the edge of the table and asked me if I had the urge to push. Talking between tears and little screams, I told him that I couldn't feel anything but pain, so he had me push anyway. I tell you, it did feel better to push during the contractions. He told me that he was going to give me an episiotomy since I tore with Claire, but during the time it took him to swivel his chair away and back to me, he looked and just told me to push instead. Once I started pushing I was determined not to stop until this baby was here or I was dead. Luckily he was delivered and I did not die. Since I could still feel everything above my pelvis, I could feel him leave my stomach. What a weird, yet very cool feeling. I could feel his little feet leave and once he was out it kind of felt like, what I would say, a blip feeling. You know....blip. Just like my stomach emptied everything. Now, people tell me that it's good that I was numb from the waist down instead of feeling him come out, but let me tell you, I would have taken it the opposite way any day. Feeling the contractions for hours was by far worse than the delivery pain that is there and gone in a matter of minutes. How do I know that since I didn't feel actually feel it the opposite way? My mom said so and she had 3 natural. So there. She said contractions are worse and I agree. Good news, I didn't tear this time.

I never ever want to do it, what I call, "half natural" ever again. You people who do it natural are....amazing. I can't do it. Well, I guess I sort of did it...half-ishly. So, I'm sure I could do it, but I certainly don't want to. Now, I'm not saying that the whole experience was horrible. I think birth is an amazing thing, so I did have a good experience even though it didn't go the way I would have liked. I just wouldn't choose to do it naturally if I had the choice.

Jared was born at 2:22 am weighing 6 lbs 2 oz. Tiny! I watched his little body come out just as I did with Claire, and it always a miracle. It really is a miracle and lets face it, I was so glad it was over and that he came fast. His cord was also incredibly short, just as Claire's AND he was born in the same room that Claire was born in.

Poor Brian couldn't hold him due to him being sick the previous week. He still had a cough and didn't dare get him sick. I got to snuggle him right away and tried to warm him up despite feeling like he would fly out of my arms from my shaking so badly. He is so handsome! His hair is perfect, just like he went to the barber right before he came out. He has tiny little legs and long skinny arms. He is so little. He was tongue-tied as well, so we had to have his tongue clipped and I'm sure his tummy is much happier that it has more food in it since the clipping. It was a little hard to eat when his tongue wasn't working properly. We love him so much!

It is wonderful being a new mommy again. My emotions are mostly back to normal (thank goodness), but I do get a little sad that I can't pick up Claire for another month. It's hard on me and her since she wants mommy time so much. I'm sure we'll both make due with hugs on the floor. She loves her little brother and always wants to hold and kiss him.

Since we've been home, Jared has had jaundice. I just got the call that he doesn't have to be on phototherapy anymore! YAY!!! It was a long couple of nights with him on the lights and I'm very grateful to sleep in my bed again and catch up on some much needed sleep.

Our little man with his skinny little legs.

Crazy, crazy hair. It hasn't done this since, so I'm glad we got pictures of it.

Holding mommy's finger.

Daddy holding his feet.

Brian looks like, and probably is holding his breath. He didn't want to get him sick.