The Losing Project Part 2

I have to start this one by saying that I had my mom join weight watchers/workout at the same time I did. She too was reluctant, but decided to do it and has been rocking it ever since. She lost 40 lbs in a year and looks absolutely amazing.

So Hailey had been born. It's so normal to not love that squishy after baby belly so much. It's super weird feeling and strange to have all of your organs in all the wrong places. After I had Claire and Jared, I relaxed just fine and let my body recover. My mom came to help after Hailey had been born and I was incredibly grateful to have her help. My mom and I did this whole weight loss journey together and she looked AMAZING! Really, very stunning. I had just had a baby, so all of my hard work was gone and I got very down on myself. Yes, my mom kept informing me, "You JUST had a baby." Literally, like 4 days ago, but baby number 3 was different for me. I didn't feel like I had all that down time I had with the first two. I had to come home and resume mommy-hood like usual. It was almost as if I went to the hospital, selected a baby, and brought her home. Claire was super sick, it transferred to Jared, Hailey went to the hospital for a fever, and my down-time just turned into incredible exhaustion not to mention the colic of child #3 almost leading me to mental insanity.

I know that comparisons are almost always a bad thing...especially when it comes to comparing ourselves. It's almost always negative. 98% always, right? But, my mom looked SO good! I was most definitely happy for her, no question. It was like each time I looked at her tiny little legs mine got bigger. It was totally unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous of me to think these things, but they didn't just go away. I can't even mention what nursing does to you. None of my shirts fit me, so I was wearing enormous clothes to fit over those double size nursing parts. That'll get you right there.

I decided that I needed something to make me feel more like that woman I really liked. I loved being "thin." Ah! There's that word I would have never used. I wanted it back. It felt amazing and empowering. My confidence went up 100 points. I felt more comfortable in my marriage. It was good. So, after only 4 weeks of having Hailey, I tried to slowly get back in to working out. The recommended 6 weeks seemed ages away, so I tried at 4 weeks. I went very easy on myself throughout the first workout, but when it came time to do the abs, my muscles were still in my obliques and it felt incredibly weird to even try. Plus, it had only been FOUR weeks. I started bleeding a little more heavily after that again (TMI), so I decided to lay off for another 2 weeks. It was too soon.

I tried again in the middle of week 5 with similar results, so I waited until I went back to my doctor. I saw him at 6 weeks and he said I was approved to anything I wanted, so I picked it up with more determination to work through those weirdly placed abdominal muscles. By then they were almost back into place. I started weight watchers again at 7 weeks. Everyone told me not to diet while nursing, so I researched a ton and came to the conclusion that I needed to be incredibly patient, but that it was doable. It is possible to lose weight while nursing by dieting, but it is also VERY, very slow. During the first few months I would only lose 1/2 to 1 pound every SIX weeks. If I hadn't had the experience before I got pregnant, I can safely say that I would have quit. I wouldn't have thought it possible. But, because I had done it before and knew it was slow, I persisted.

Let me clarify one thing, if I could go back in time and change what I did postpartum, I would. I was so obsessed over this whole spiel that I feel like I lost some of my time with little Hailey. Maybe it's just being the third child that time goes faster and faster, but I feel like my mind was in the wrong place. She was a very hard baby for the first 3 months. She cried non-stop after every feeding for 3+ hours. I wish I could have found another outlet. Something that helped my sanity through her colic that didn't make me down on myself and that helped me be a better me. I don't regret doing it in general, I just wish I would have had a more healthy attitude about it. I believe I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to do it a second time. Losing weight is a very daunting starting task and seems almost impossible. Add in nursing when you're told to consume all these extra calories and it seemed like the world would end before it was possible.

The first time I did weight watchers, I only paid for an additional month because I got pregnant. The second time, I only paid for the $56 three month plan again and then quit. I felt like 3 months was good enough for me to learn the skill and keep at it. I know how to correct myself if I have a crazy day and it's taught me much better eating habits. So, total I spent $130 over the course of 1 1/2 years and it was worth every single penny. Comes down to $7 per month. I could kiss them! I think everyone should do it whether you want to lose weight or not just because it shows you what your eating, how much, and where to improve. It's good information for everyone.

They always say to give your body 9 months to get off the baby weight since it took 9 months to put it on. I'm here to say that it's so true. Hailey turned 9 months old on December 28th and it was only a week before that that I met my goal of 129 lbs. Meeting a weight loss goal at the height of Christmas treats was somewhat hilarious and cruel at the same time. I got down to 127 pounds before Christmas, which allowed me to have a little wiggle room.  I did not go crazy about restricting myself because I wanted to enjoy my holiday treats, but having 2 oreo balls is just as good as having 12 (well, lets be real...almost as good). So, yes, I allowed myself to go up a couple of pounds because this is a lifelong process for me, not just a goal and quit kind of plan.

One of the funniest things I've encountered about weight loss is this. People ask me, "Gosh! You must be like 118 pounds, right?" Well, no, in fact I'm hovering right about 130. "Wow! you don't look it." Uh......ok? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Is 130 pounds huge or something? It doesn't make me mad or anything, I just think it's interesting. People carry their weight so differently. There is definitely a difference when you have a more muscular build to a very tiny one. Fortunately for me :), I got a more muscular build (which could be why I have such beefy baby girls....right?) and that means I'm probably gonna weigh a little more anyway. Thanks Dad! I get it from him....and I'm completely ok with that. I feel good about myself and I actually don't want to go lower than I already am. I think it will happen when I stop nursing anyway, so I want to keep a little on to prepare for that anyway. If it doesn't then great. :)

I've reached my "lofty" goal and I succeeded through almost an entire year of trying. I did it by eating healthier, eating less, choosing better options, and exercising. It feels good.



Some of the things I've learned is:

• Sometimes weight loss is an minute by minute process. It is HARD! If I could be happy at 500 pounds, I would eat my way there. I just really love food. It's a difficult relationship. On the days that it's really hard, it's really pep-talking myself every minute or every hour to make it through the day. The reward comes the next morning when you see that it all paid off. 
• I swear by weight watchers. It's easy! I tried myfitnesspal and it was too much work for me. I'm so glad it works for a lot of people, but if I'm going to put that much work into counting calories, it better be EASY! Another thing is that I didn't feel restricted really. I was hungry for a few days, but I still got to eat whatever I wanted. If I went over, they allow for that as well. I got cake, chips, cookies,etc....I just learned how to eat less and to eat better. If I wanted a cookie, I had one and not 12. Then I learned to have apples by the bushel instead of cookies.
• I also swear by the 30 day shred. I had a friend do it while pregnant and she lost 15 pounds. It's incredible. Seriously. It's all about constancy and determination. I can't say enough good things about this. It's also very cheap, so price can't even be an issue. It's also only TWENTY minutes. I don't have an hour per day to spend at the gym or doing my wonderful and beloved yoga ideo, but I can't get around 20 minutes. There's always time for it. 
• Choose light foods. I thought lite ranch would be disgusting. It's really not (even though my mother-in-law, whose been doing WW for years, won't eat it. It's not as flavorful, but it's still good. Same thing with lite cool whip. You get used to less sugar and it still tastes amazing. The greatest thing is, if someone doesn't know what ingredients you used, they'll love it like it's full of fat and sugar. (Shout out to sugar free pudding mixed with lite cool whip. Half the points means double the serving sometimes...but usually just half the points. :) ) 
• The dedication can be killer. I try to wake up at 5:45 to work out and shower before I have to take Claire to school. I really try to limit the kids' tv time and if I don't wake up early, it means that the tv time skyrockets because then I'd have to work out, shower, and get ready while they're awake. When I wake up early, I can usually do all of that before there up. I hate the earliness of it, but I love the alone time.
• Before I'm a wife and before I'm a mother, I am still a person. I am me. I've felt that at times this goal is selfish because shouldn't I be spending every waking moment serving my family? No. When I do this I start to get lost. I have to have more sanity grocery store runs and walks around the mall. If I have some time for my personal goals and time for them, I feel like I fulfill my family roles more efficiently and with a lot more enthusiasm. 
• It's so worth it. Every single second. 

And....because I always LOVE a good before and after picture.... (too bad I don't have the same shot comparison).

Before. I didn't realize back then that I had so much junk in my trunk. 

Florida 2009. I think Brian hit 137 and I was at 150. Let's not even talk about those horrible shorts I'm wearing. 

These two pictures are after. The first is when we moved to Texas and I was at 133. The other is of me at 129 (I think the shadow takes it's toll on that picture). I know, 4 lbs....to some that's basically the same, but when you've worked it off, even a half pound is accounted for.

(For those of you who knew me in elementary, I'm not trying to sport the same bangs I did back then. Don't worry. I know they look funny in the coral shirt picture. I got them cut today and they dried funny. They will be back in less weirdness tomorrow).