Potty Party at Our House

Wow, It took me a whole week to sit down and do this again. Two reasons why....

1. Jared is teething...
2. Number 1 is enough reason.

So, last week we had a couple of funny potty incidents. First, I came home from the gym Saturday morning. Brian was watching the kids and I had a lovely hour away from any of my motherly/wifely responsibilities (what I wouldn't give for that right now). As I was making myself some toast and talking to my brother, Claire ran into the kitchen, "Mommy! Mommy!" I thought she was just excited to see me, but as soon as she hit the kitchen floor with her feet, she stopped. Looked down at her legs. Stared. As I got closer to her I could she that she was a little, shall we say, soggy.

False.

She was, from waist to ankles, soaked with pee. The poor girl would survive the horrible smell, but I was very seriously worried about the toll it would take on our couches. Luckily, she was an angel and stood beside the couch as she soiled herself instead of on it.

Oh yes, she had a diaper on. It was just so insanely full that it overflowed onto anything absorbent on her body.

This happens at least two times a week. I guess that's what happens when you drink your weight in milk before bed.


Second, as I was getting ready for church on Sunday, I went to check on my early rising children. Jared smelled a little off, but I decided I would let him finish his duty before changing his diaper. Oh dear....that boy can smell up a room since he's started eating applesauce. My goodness! He started to cry, as one does when their pants aren't filled with the loveliest of things, and I decided that I had better go get him. Oh wait....I'll just put on my mascara first. Well, Brian decided to pick him up instead and saved the day. He took him from his room into the hallway. My nostrils started flaring from his potency and I wasn't even close to him! Brian, sometimes having slow olfactory senses, finally realized that the house didn't smell normal and started to sniff around. Slowly, he turned Jared's bottom end toward his nose, but stopped and noticed that there was a large, round poop spot up around Jared's shoulders. Immediately "we" were in frantic mode:

Brian: "Oh! AH! Oh! Ew! AH! Ugh! Take him, take him, take him! Oh Ugh!" All while lifting Jared up as if he were a serving tray, bouncing him as if I wasn't moving fast enough and the poop monsters were going to cover his whole body.

I proceeded to take the poor child, change his diaper, and return him to his toys. Brian proceeded to wash vigorously with soap, his hands and arms. Please note that not one little spec of Jared's bodily fluid reached Brian's skin.


Lastly, Claire took off her diaper, full and wet, and said, "Here Daddy" and dropped it into his lap. A little gross, but survivable. Brian asked Claire to get a diaper for him, so she ran to her room and came back with a little swimmers. "Nemo diaper, Daddy!" Well, those of you who know little swimmers, the pee goes straight through those, so that was a no no. He asked for a Mickey Mouse diaper, instructing our obedient little two-year old a little better. She left the room....and we waited....and waited. Right as I was opening my mouth to say, "Maybe we should check on her"....we hear.... "Mommy!!!! Help me please." Brian ran into the room (I was on the couch feeding Jared and couldn't move) only to find that Claire had peed on the carpet. Upon Brian's arrival to her room Claire said, "Daddy.......diaper...." in a little sad, timid voice. We, her parents, sent her to get a diaper that wasn't there. She had ran out of diapers and I had forgotten to refill her cubby full of her diapers. Poor little thing.

Thank goodness for carpet cleaning products!